this guy and his game

Baseball being phased out of America-
Nov. 9, 2010 (reuters)
In a time when only North west coast stoners play big
Ol Texas speedfreaks, MLB has finally opened its eyes , and shutting its doors.
"I knew it would come, and I am taking action- no further comments", said commish Bud Selig.
"When Scott Stapp from that shitty band he is in wrote a Marlin's tribute song, I knew I needed to move quickly. I put on my filthiest tie and gravy stained blazer , fogged my glasses, messed my hair and now I am at this lectern stepping up and lighting a fire under this game.
Its over. nothing else"
"it is a great game, but if no one will come because of local deals - The real blackout will be my subbing dominicans for blacks- they're out. "that's it, you have your statements.
and one more bit- If it[the game] comes back, I'll move it to a visitors and home yards. thats it 2 parks.
one in thr D.R. and one in Miami...
"I'm doing what any other commish would do... Goodell, Stern- I'm the template maker!"
Any furtherquestions?...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/florida-state-university-to-phase-out-academic-ope,5425/